do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You made out with two different species that night
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
