your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
