Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
