I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
