Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize