She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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