remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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