I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
