Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
