The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
