The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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