A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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