the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Michael Bay diarrhea
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
