is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
