nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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