just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
