so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
