dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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