mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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