I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
