I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
