i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i think i just lost a toe
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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