i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
