You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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