He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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