Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
