and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
