they need to just BURY HIM!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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