I think my vagina is haunted
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
