she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
