You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
