On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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