dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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