I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
