don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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