they said they heard you say put it in my butt
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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