Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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