You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
