4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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