The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
