Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
