Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
