that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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