How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I AM VODKA MAN
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
