Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
