I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
