You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
