You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
