True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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