every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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