So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
