Just mADE A PArabola og urine
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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