my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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