Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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