I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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