How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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