Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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