Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry sydnerella hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(325): View more from Texas

my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

By a pack of ravenous dildos

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours

(301): View more from Maryland

........yyyyyyeah that's me

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.

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(630): View more from Illinois

My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?

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(218): View more from Minnesota

She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.

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