I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
