I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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