Small penises have feelings too.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They took my balls.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
