Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
