apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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