I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize