either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
