I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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