should my penis look like a turkey
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
