Don't make out with my wife yet
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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